Bieber’s ‘Never Say Never’: The final verdict by Kyle and Marysa

  We hope you enjoy this, dear readers.  Having spent $10.50 each for the full "Justing Bieber: Never Say Never" 3-D experience, we can truly say that neither of us has caught Bieber Fever.  No, although the specter of that mop-haired prepubescent is omnipresent, as evidenced by the fact that as soon as we left the theatre, just as we were trying to cleanse our musical palette, the radio subjected us to the eponymous movie song.  It was a horrifying moment, to say the least.

     Marysa: I would like to go on record as saying that I begged Kyle on the way to the theatre to see if we could review anything else.  I even suggested "Big Momma's: Like Father, Like Son," before I realized that that was a depth of movie watching neither of us wanted to subject ourselves to.  

     Before going to the movie, I was surprised to see how many fairly positive reviews the film received; most critics thought it was a smooth film that succeeded in finding the right tone for its audience.  I would have to agree that it definitely accomplished what it strived to do, which, it seemed, was to self-mythologize.  

     Bieber's rise to the top is documented as the ultimate underdog story, as we are shown numerous (admittedly adorable) clips of him as a toddler and grade schooler.  He's precocious and preternaturally talented at guitar and drums.  He progresses from practicing at home to performing on street corners and at local talent contests, eventually posting videos on YouTube.  

     Kyle: One must also take into account the fact that this film has garnered "good" reviews mostly because the other films in the genre of "Teen Pop Star Concert Movie" have been less than mediocre. He was up against the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, for goodness sake. This boy has a modicum of talent—it's no surprise that his film was a bit better. 

     Marysa: You mean you weren't blown away by the sweeping epic that was "Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds"?!  I don't even know what to say to such blasphemy.

     Kyle: I don't even have a response for that… Anyway, the Biebs presents an interesting example of the "Child Star." His story is not typical—he wasn't born into family already in the business, his parents didn't push him into his work (in fact, they seemed to take his skill set as a cool thing their kid could do instead of seeing the markings of a musical prodigy), and he didn't find his way into the business by harassing producers. JB did it his own way. Posting videos of himself on YouTube attracted the attention of a young producer (whose name is Scooter—of course he works with Justin Bieber). Said producer then went after Justin. The rest, as they say, is history.

     Marysa: Where it gets a little tricky with the myth of Bieber is when he's introduced to the music industry in America.  We're told numerous times that he's had a hard climb to the top, especially compared to his peers in the Disney and Nickelodeon entertainment circuits.  Even as he's preparing to sing to a sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden, his manager's stating that he hopes Bieber and his team remain underdogs for as long as possible.  I hate to say it (I don't, actually), but I think by the time you've reached Madison Square Garden, that would be the time to retire the mantle of "underdog."

     The next few checkmarks in the public image building model for teen pop stars include: as many references to personal faith as possible, and the reminder that said teen is still "just a kid."  Very few scenes go by without Bieber or one of his crew doing a prayer huddle, or pausing over a slice of pizza to thank God for His generosity.  

     Kyle: Can I just say that the pizza parlor prayer, while endearing, was a little bit much? We get it, Biebs. You love God. That's great. Stop reminding me and get back to shaking your hair around!

      Marysa:  I've got to say that my absolute favorite part of the movie was probably the Bieber hair flip sequence, scored to the Etta James hit, "At Last."

      Kyle: Right?! Slow motion and everything! Not only was it hilarious, but it also showed that JB knows how to laugh at himself. The kid definitely has a good sense of humor and is pro at hamming it up.

      Marysa: Back to the point. There is absolutely nothing wrong with prayer, of course, or giving thanks for the gifts God has given you.  However, there comes a point in movies like these, where you know that the very creation of the movie is a marketing tool to sell a constructed image or idea, that it seems like it could be disingenuous. The possible exploitation of faith is bothersome.  

     Similarly, it's difficult to watch the movie and see all of the adults in Bieber's life alternately jostle him around and manage him, joking with him at one moment and reminding him of his need for professionalism the next.  The level of fame Bieber has attained must be extremely difficult and distancing in many aspects, and I can't help but wonder how much that has changed him from the small-town Canadian boy he once was.

     Kyle: I found it interesting the number of times we saw a distinct difference in the way that his crew of handlers treated Justin. At times, yes, they'd joke around, having repeatedly told the audience that Justin is like their little brother or nephew. Other times, Justin is spoken to like a peer—most of his crew recognizes that this kid is their meal ticket and he's old enough to know what he wants, but not always what he needs. In those moments, his vocal coach (who clearly has the most influence over him. Maybe it's because everyone else is too busy trying to be his friend. Who knows.) admonishes him for not wanting to obey doctor's orders and go on vocal rest and threatens him with returning to Canada. What could be worse to a 16 year old pop star than going back to Canada?! Gasp. The horror. 

     Marysa: Some of the only real uses of 3-D in the movie were to elicit preteen girl shrieks, as Bieber reached his hand into the audience quite a few times, cooing lovingly about girls being his baby and never saying never while fighting his fight in his world.

     Kyle: The 3D was… interesting. While it was fun to pretend that the Biebs reaching out to us (and you know it was us, because we were literally the only ones in the theatre), I was more distracted by it than anything else. Although, we did get some sweet glasses out of the deal. 

     Marysa: I do love that we now have our very own 3D glasses.  I feel like now we can more fully appreciate the phenomenon that is Justin Bieber.  Remember in days past, when we were shrieking over the latest NSync or Backstreet Boys album?  Only time will tell with Bieber whether or not he fades into the distance like the majority of teen pop sensations, or rise from the ashes of heavily produced pop/R&B to emerge as an adult artist.  I'm fairly sure I'll always just think of him as a chipmunk, though.

      Final Verdict: While the Biebs has proven to be talented and may have a bright future ahead of him, we just can't bring ourselves to give this film the same rousing approval that we have for our other reviews. Entertaining, yes. Critically acclaimed, certainly not. Worth a watch if you want to laugh at a ridiculous kid from Canada for a few hours while simultaneously listening to drippy teeny-bopper pop songs? Perfect.